Well, they don't call it a "Play _OR_ Charge", do they?
So the Xbox 360 has wireless controllers. This is cool. Significantly cooler than the Wavebird - I have two Wavebirds and ultimately gave up on them in favor of wired controllers. When I first heard about the 360 controllers I didn't think it was a big deal because the Wavebirds left a bad taste in my mouth. There were several reasons for that, all of which the 360 controller fixes.
1) No rumble. It's true - Wavebirds lack the rumble feature. This isn't critical but it makes the Wavebird feel like a second class controller.
2) Controller identity is unclear. The way Wavebirds work is there's a dial with teeny-tiny numbers on the bottom of the controller. Under bright light you set the dial to one of sixteen possible frequencies. The receiver plugs into the Gamecube and has a similar dial. You set the dial to a matching frequency and plug it in. But these numbers aren't readable in normal operation. So I set two controllers on the table - tell me which one is controller 1. You can't. The 360 controllers have that "ring of light" thing so looking at the controller itself shows me whether it is controller one or controller two. There is one other way of identifying the Wavebirds - when one transmits it's receiver has a light that indicates reception. If you can see the receivers you can push buttons and see which controller it is. But you might not be sitting somewhere where you can see the receivers. I would settle for Wavebirds being available in colors - but they are Model T's - any color you want as long as that color is gray.
3) Batteries. The Wavebird takes regular batteries and eats them pretty quickly. Worse, there's a on/off switch on the controller (independent of the console) and if you leave it on accidentally the batteries will be dead the next time you want to play. (In all fairness the 360 controllers come with AA's as well, but they have an option to replace the AA's with a high-capacity rechargeable battery.) The 360 controllers will idle out and turn themselves off, so the on/off switch problem is avoided.
4) Aesthetics. There are a lot of things about the Gamecube aesthetics that have always confused me, but the Wavebird receivers just look bad and ugly stuck on the front of my cutesy purple Gamecube.
So anyway, about that rechargeable battery for the Xbox 360 controller. Right now the only way to charge them is by what Microsoft calls a "Play and Charge kit". The kit consists of one battery (you can buy batteries separately) and the charging cable. The cable is USB on one end and connects to the controller on the other end. The controller end has a charging light to show the charing status. So far so good. The one overwhelmingly dumb thing is this: the 360 only powers the USB ports when it is on. So you can Play and Charge sure enough, but you can't plug in the controller, turn off the system and go to bed and have a charged controller when you wake up in the morning. D'oh! As the title of this post indicates - it isn't a a "Play or Charge". You want to charge, you have to play :-)
In all fairness I'm not even sure any hardware powers the USB ports when it is turned off - I tried the PS2 and it does not. My Powerbook doesn't even seem to power the USB ports when it is in sleep mode. But since the 360 USB ports seem primarily intended to be charging stations, I wish they had addressed this.
There is a "quick charge kit" which is basically a wall wart with places for two battery packs, but that's not available for another couple of weeks (six months after system launch).
So the Xbox 360 has wireless controllers. This is cool. Significantly cooler than the Wavebird - I have two Wavebirds and ultimately gave up on them in favor of wired controllers. When I first heard about the 360 controllers I didn't think it was a big deal because the Wavebirds left a bad taste in my mouth. There were several reasons for that, all of which the 360 controller fixes.
1) No rumble. It's true - Wavebirds lack the rumble feature. This isn't critical but it makes the Wavebird feel like a second class controller.
2) Controller identity is unclear. The way Wavebirds work is there's a dial with teeny-tiny numbers on the bottom of the controller. Under bright light you set the dial to one of sixteen possible frequencies. The receiver plugs into the Gamecube and has a similar dial. You set the dial to a matching frequency and plug it in. But these numbers aren't readable in normal operation. So I set two controllers on the table - tell me which one is controller 1. You can't. The 360 controllers have that "ring of light" thing so looking at the controller itself shows me whether it is controller one or controller two. There is one other way of identifying the Wavebirds - when one transmits it's receiver has a light that indicates reception. If you can see the receivers you can push buttons and see which controller it is. But you might not be sitting somewhere where you can see the receivers. I would settle for Wavebirds being available in colors - but they are Model T's - any color you want as long as that color is gray.
3) Batteries. The Wavebird takes regular batteries and eats them pretty quickly. Worse, there's a on/off switch on the controller (independent of the console) and if you leave it on accidentally the batteries will be dead the next time you want to play. (In all fairness the 360 controllers come with AA's as well, but they have an option to replace the AA's with a high-capacity rechargeable battery.) The 360 controllers will idle out and turn themselves off, so the on/off switch problem is avoided.
4) Aesthetics. There are a lot of things about the Gamecube aesthetics that have always confused me, but the Wavebird receivers just look bad and ugly stuck on the front of my cutesy purple Gamecube.
So anyway, about that rechargeable battery for the Xbox 360 controller. Right now the only way to charge them is by what Microsoft calls a "Play and Charge kit". The kit consists of one battery (you can buy batteries separately) and the charging cable. The cable is USB on one end and connects to the controller on the other end. The controller end has a charging light to show the charing status. So far so good. The one overwhelmingly dumb thing is this: the 360 only powers the USB ports when it is on. So you can Play and Charge sure enough, but you can't plug in the controller, turn off the system and go to bed and have a charged controller when you wake up in the morning. D'oh! As the title of this post indicates - it isn't a a "Play or Charge". You want to charge, you have to play :-)
In all fairness I'm not even sure any hardware powers the USB ports when it is turned off - I tried the PS2 and it does not. My Powerbook doesn't even seem to power the USB ports when it is in sleep mode. But since the 360 USB ports seem primarily intended to be charging stations, I wish they had addressed this.
There is a "quick charge kit" which is basically a wall wart with places for two battery packs, but that's not available for another couple of weeks (six months after system launch).
1) No rumble. It's true - Wavebirds lack the rumble feature. This isn't critical but it makes the Wavebird feel like a second class controller.
2) Controller identity is unclear. The way Wavebirds work is there's a dial with teeny-tiny numbers on the bottom of the controller. Under bright light you set the dial to one of sixteen possible frequencies. The receiver plugs into the Gamecube and has a similar dial. You set the dial to a matching frequency and plug it in. But these numbers aren't readable in normal operation. So I set two controllers on the table - tell me which one is controller 1. You can't. The 360 controllers have that "ring of light" thing so looking at the controller itself shows me whether it is controller one or controller two. There is one other way of identifying the Wavebirds - when one transmits it's receiver has a light that indicates reception. If you can see the receivers you can push buttons and see which controller it is. But you might not be sitting somewhere where you can see the receivers. I would settle for Wavebirds being available in colors - but they are Model T's - any color you want as long as that color is gray.
3) Batteries. The Wavebird takes regular batteries and eats them pretty quickly. Worse, there's a on/off switch on the controller (independent of the console) and if you leave it on accidentally the batteries will be dead the next time you want to play. (In all fairness the 360 controllers come with AA's as well, but they have an option to replace the AA's with a high-capacity rechargeable battery.) The 360 controllers will idle out and turn themselves off, so the on/off switch problem is avoided.
4) Aesthetics. There are a lot of things about the Gamecube aesthetics that have always confused me, but the Wavebird receivers just look bad and ugly stuck on the front of my cutesy purple Gamecube.
So anyway, about that rechargeable battery for the Xbox 360 controller. Right now the only way to charge them is by what Microsoft calls a "Play and Charge kit". The kit consists of one battery (you can buy batteries separately) and the charging cable. The cable is USB on one end and connects to the controller on the other end. The controller end has a charging light to show the charing status. So far so good. The one overwhelmingly dumb thing is this: the 360 only powers the USB ports when it is on. So you can Play and Charge sure enough, but you can't plug in the controller, turn off the system and go to bed and have a charged controller when you wake up in the morning. D'oh! As the title of this post indicates - it isn't a a "Play or Charge". You want to charge, you have to play :-)
In all fairness I'm not even sure any hardware powers the USB ports when it is turned off - I tried the PS2 and it does not. My Powerbook doesn't even seem to power the USB ports when it is in sleep mode. But since the 360 USB ports seem primarily intended to be charging stations, I wish they had addressed this.
There is a "quick charge kit" which is basically a wall wart with places for two battery packs, but that's not available for another couple of weeks (six months after system launch).
The Elder Scrolls:Timesink
So as the GamerTag shows, I have a copy of Oblivion now (rented from Gamefly). I'm just barely getting into it, but I've already sunk several hours in, and I can see how I'm just scratching the surface. I don't know where the Odiils are, but not only did I break into their farmhouse and steall all their beer and brandy, I went into their fields and picked all their tomatos, lettuce, blackberries, and watermelons. Of course, then I was over-encumbered and couldn't move so I left them a nice Rusty Iron Warhammer I found in some dungeon. And those freaking watermelons weighed 5 pounds each so I brewed them right into potions while standing in the field. I'll be curious to see how it holds up. As I recall the thing that finally wore me down in Morrowind was all the jogging to and from various places. But Oblivion has the handy-dandy travel map where you can insta-warp from city to city. This could pose a problem.
As for the Gamertag itself, I did it mainly for the hell of it, and then realized if you click it you have to log into xbox.com/Microsoft Passport. Mind control lasers disclaimer and all that. Passport is fairly evil in my opinion, but there you go. But even if you don't click it does serve one interesting function - it shows you the last five games I've played on my 360. I don't have a sidebar with what I'm watching, reading, listening to, etc. because I know I'd never keep it up to date. But this now provides a zero-maintenance way to show what I'm playing. That's pretty cool.
So as the GamerTag shows, I have a copy of Oblivion now (rented from Gamefly). I'm just barely getting into it, but I've already sunk several hours in, and I can see how I'm just scratching the surface. I don't know where the Odiils are, but not only did I break into their farmhouse and steall all their beer and brandy, I went into their fields and picked all their tomatos, lettuce, blackberries, and watermelons. Of course, then I was over-encumbered and couldn't move so I left them a nice Rusty Iron Warhammer I found in some dungeon. And those freaking watermelons weighed 5 pounds each so I brewed them right into potions while standing in the field. I'll be curious to see how it holds up. As I recall the thing that finally wore me down in Morrowind was all the jogging to and from various places. But Oblivion has the handy-dandy travel map where you can insta-warp from city to city. This could pose a problem.
As for the Gamertag itself, I did it mainly for the hell of it, and then realized if you click it you have to log into xbox.com/Microsoft Passport. Mind control lasers disclaimer and all that. Passport is fairly evil in my opinion, but there you go. But even if you don't click it does serve one interesting function - it shows you the last five games I've played on my 360. I don't have a sidebar with what I'm watching, reading, listening to, etc. because I know I'd never keep it up to date. But this now provides a zero-maintenance way to show what I'm playing. That's pretty cool.
As for the Gamertag itself, I did it mainly for the hell of it, and then realized if you click it you have to log into xbox.com/Microsoft Passport. Mind control lasers disclaimer and all that. Passport is fairly evil in my opinion, but there you go. But even if you don't click it does serve one interesting function - it shows you the last five games I've played on my 360. I don't have a sidebar with what I'm watching, reading, listening to, etc. because I know I'd never keep it up to date. But this now provides a zero-maintenance way to show what I'm playing. That's pretty cool.
Recommendations
Podcasts! Have you tried listening to the Penny Arcade podcast yet? They are recording a half an hour or so of them working on a strip, once a week and it's both entertaining and enlightening. It's interesting to hear their creative process and and listening to them rip on each other as they come up with a strip is good fun. I though it might be interesting for an episode or two but I've been surprised by how often I laugh at offhand comments they make. Highly recommended for a listen.
Snack Foods! I have a new favorite - Snyder's of Hanover's Buffalo Wings Pretzel Bits. Pretzel-y goodness with authentic hot wing sauce flavor. Yummy.
So Xbox 360 Gamertags. I stuck one on the right sidebar over there. Cool? Goofy? Thumbs-up? Thumbs-down? What do people think?
Podcasts! Have you tried listening to the Penny Arcade podcast yet? They are recording a half an hour or so of them working on a strip, once a week and it's both entertaining and enlightening. It's interesting to hear their creative process and and listening to them rip on each other as they come up with a strip is good fun. I though it might be interesting for an episode or two but I've been surprised by how often I laugh at offhand comments they make. Highly recommended for a listen.
Snack Foods! I have a new favorite - Snyder's of Hanover's Buffalo Wings Pretzel Bits. Pretzel-y goodness with authentic hot wing sauce flavor. Yummy.
So Xbox 360 Gamertags. I stuck one on the right sidebar over there. Cool? Goofy? Thumbs-up? Thumbs-down? What do people think?
Snack Foods! I have a new favorite - Snyder's of Hanover's Buffalo Wings Pretzel Bits. Pretzel-y goodness with authentic hot wing sauce flavor. Yummy.
So Xbox 360 Gamertags. I stuck one on the right sidebar over there. Cool? Goofy? Thumbs-up? Thumbs-down? What do people think?
Grab Bag
So is everyone but me aware of this SOMA radio thing? Wil Wheaton mentioned it today on his blog and I'm chilling with the "Secret Agent" feed right now and it is quite awesome. (Tip for the iTunes users - the first link (48k aacPlus) works great. Open the file in iTunes and it loads right up.)
Hey, what's this fiction thingie doing down below? People should totally go read it. Not being hip to the exploits of Captain Arcolier makes the baby Chuji cry! Come back next Tuesday to see the totally hip nautical usage of the word "belay"!
My 360 has been a bit crashy-crashy which is quite worrisome. I thought it might be heat, but as far as I can tell the thing never gets that hot (and the power brick is never even slightly warm.) I'm theorizing it was having some power brownout issues and moved it's plug straight into the line conditioner. We'll see. Theory B is probably bad hardware which would again make the baby Chuji cry.
I've decided what the 360 needs is more FPS's! Oh yeah. At the moment I have Ghost Recon Advanced Warrior (aka GRAW), Perfect Dark Zero (bought really for coop play), and Call of Duty 2 (rented from Gamefly at the moment). The most annoying thing is control differences. PDZ and GRAW both have crouch on left stick click, and CoD2 has it on B. Flipping between three different FPS's hurts my muscle memory.
Really though, read yesterday's entry. Stop me before I pimp again! You might be thinking "He wouldn't really do that, has he no shame?". Say that again to yourself slowly and picture me in your head. Yeah that's right. You're scared now!
So is everyone but me aware of this SOMA radio thing? Wil Wheaton mentioned it today on his blog and I'm chilling with the "Secret Agent" feed right now and it is quite awesome. (Tip for the iTunes users - the first link (48k aacPlus) works great. Open the file in iTunes and it loads right up.)
Hey, what's this fiction thingie doing down below? People should totally go read it. Not being hip to the exploits of Captain Arcolier makes the baby Chuji cry! Come back next Tuesday to see the totally hip nautical usage of the word "belay"!
My 360 has been a bit crashy-crashy which is quite worrisome. I thought it might be heat, but as far as I can tell the thing never gets that hot (and the power brick is never even slightly warm.) I'm theorizing it was having some power brownout issues and moved it's plug straight into the line conditioner. We'll see. Theory B is probably bad hardware which would again make the baby Chuji cry.
I've decided what the 360 needs is more FPS's! Oh yeah. At the moment I have Ghost Recon Advanced Warrior (aka GRAW), Perfect Dark Zero (bought really for coop play), and Call of Duty 2 (rented from Gamefly at the moment). The most annoying thing is control differences. PDZ and GRAW both have crouch on left stick click, and CoD2 has it on B. Flipping between three different FPS's hurts my muscle memory.
Really though, read yesterday's entry. Stop me before I pimp again! You might be thinking "He wouldn't really do that, has he no shame?". Say that again to yourself slowly and picture me in your head. Yeah that's right. You're scared now!
Hey, what's this fiction thingie doing down below? People should totally go read it. Not being hip to the exploits of Captain Arcolier makes the baby Chuji cry! Come back next Tuesday to see the totally hip nautical usage of the word "belay"!
My 360 has been a bit crashy-crashy which is quite worrisome. I thought it might be heat, but as far as I can tell the thing never gets that hot (and the power brick is never even slightly warm.) I'm theorizing it was having some power brownout issues and moved it's plug straight into the line conditioner. We'll see. Theory B is probably bad hardware which would again make the baby Chuji cry.
I've decided what the 360 needs is more FPS's! Oh yeah. At the moment I have Ghost Recon Advanced Warrior (aka GRAW), Perfect Dark Zero (bought really for coop play), and Call of Duty 2 (rented from Gamefly at the moment). The most annoying thing is control differences. PDZ and GRAW both have crouch on left stick click, and CoD2 has it on B. Flipping between three different FPS's hurts my muscle memory.
Really though, read yesterday's entry. Stop me before I pimp again! You might be thinking "He wouldn't really do that, has he no shame?". Say that again to yourself slowly and picture me in your head. Yeah that's right. You're scared now!
The Adventures of Captain Arcolier, Part One
Captain Jaimie Arcolier was having a bad hair day. In order to be a top ranked pirate captain she had to look her best at all times, but her deep auburn locks insisted on frizzing into a tangled mess. In a zero-g boarding action that would give her a crimson afro - she'd look like a Q-tip set on fire! Her intercom buzzed as she dug out another glop of styling gel with an exasperated sigh.
"Cap'n? We're at the hold point. If Carruther's frigate is on schedule it will jump through in five minutes." Old One-Eye had been her first mate for the last two years and he was currently up in the bridge, waiting for her to arrive. She cursed her recalcitrant hair as she slicked it back with the gel. Not enough body for a world-class look but at least nobody would laugh her out of combat if it came to that. She thumbed open her quarters and vaulted into the common hallway while still muttering under her breath. She was sure that the male captains had an easier time of it. If nothing else they usually wore hats or bandannas. But the market research showed that female captains needed their hair down for maximal licensing revenue. Damn fickle public!
Some raids she made more from the licensing than she did from the haul, but if her informant was right this pigeon would not be such a case. Carruther's and Sons were trying to sneak a fortune through the less traveled shipping lanes, hoping nobody would notice. A valid stratagem but it meant this frigate was traveling with a light guard. The informant swore they were shipping a full load of Earth spices and rare foodstuffs and they were bound straight to the Royal Palace of Cantrella. Not only were genuine Earth foods worth a fortune but Jaimie's animosity for the Cantrellan Empire was legendary. Tweaking the nose of Empress Relina by stealing food from her table meant more than the ready cash the cargo would fetch on the black market.
She strode through the bridge hatch with her trademark swagger, exuding confidence. She knew that she was "on" - if this raid went well the video rights would be worth the hassle. Her hair might have been flatter than she liked, but she had the rest of her pirate attire set to perfection. A tight turquoise blouse emphasized her figure while leaving no excess fabric to hinder her in combat. Tight black slacks tucked into the top of her dark leather knee-high boots, which were polished to a mirror shine. At least in shoes a female pirate got to be practical, and the boots had only the lowest heel with a wide footprint and a solid stance. Velcro strips on the bottom and magnets in the sole prepared her for all sorts of zero-g maneuvers. Her slender rapier hung from her hip, a simple unadorned blade that looked unremarkable. Despite the unprepossessing appearance she made major cash every year from licensed replicas of her famous blade. In many ways her rapier was her brand and she managed it well.
One-Eye snapped to attention and barked out the traditional call. "Cap'n on deck!"
Captain Arcolier settled in the captains chair, nodding as she did so. "Carry on." She cast a satisfied eye over her veteran bridge crew. They were ready for battle, and One-Eye had settled them down for work before she arrived. She depressed the fingertip key that would broadcast her voice throughout the Beauteous Revenge. "Drop gravitational spin and prepare for combat maneuvers."
One-Eye promptly said "Aye Aye Cap'n", even as he ran the macros from his station. The lighting dropped slightly and shifted to a warmer yellow tone. The omnipresent rumble of the engines dropped away as the ship stilled. Captain Arcolier snapped her restraint web in place as the false gravity faded away. She scanned the bridge again, noting with pleasure that her crew was ready for the order and no stray debris floated free in the cabin.
The bridge of the Revenge was both gorgeous and functional. It served double duty both as the practical command center of a functioning pirate ship and as the main set for the show Captain Arcolier sold in the gray samizdat market. Bland, grey salarymen on dozens of planets lived vicariously through the somewhat-true exploits of Arcolier and her crew so the bridge had to convey a sense of dynamism, a sense of wonder and action. In this day of modernization and discreet technology the bridge straddled some line between silly anachronism and hopelessly futuristic. No line was straight where a swooping curve would do. No small display existed where a large screen would fit, and most screens were topped with klaxons and lights to draw the eye when activated. The curving forward bulkhead captured attention as it was featureless and a deep midnight black, a black that positively swallowed light. Cap'n Arcolier claimed that material had cost her a small fortune with both powdered onyx and "smart" programmed buckyball nanomachines incorporated into the structure. The machines continually optimized the surface, making sure it was as smooth and as black as molecular technologies allowed. All of this blackness served as a backdrop to the primary display - a huge holographic tank. It was only a foot or so deep but it stretched the entire width and height of the bridge - an utterly gigantic display at ten feet tall and thirty feet wide. Although it could be set for one gargantuan image it was usually tiled into a variety of displays as it was now. A large center section lay blank, awaiting the Captain's prerogative, while smaller status and communication displays quietly scrolled around the edges. As Captain Arcolier settled in her captains chair she pulled up the forward visual display, filling the screen with an unexceptional display of blank space.
The crew settled in for a wait, but only a couple of minutes passed before Stinky Pete sang out from the conn station. "Thar she jumps!". As he touched keys a computer overlay sprang into being on the main screen, drawing in gravity waves with a false transparent green. A narrow ropy tube of emerald pulsed there, the jump line from Maxima to Pulion. This was the point where forces from the nearby black hole drew the line into nonexistence - where a ship was forced back into normal space. Indeed the line pulsed like a snake swallowing a mouse as the bulge that indicated a ship worked down the gullet.
The green overlay faded further into translucency as a visible glow grew at the jump terminus. A bright flash of light marked the transition back into Euclidean space as the cargo ship appeared. The ship was at the dead stop jump travel required, briefly blinded by the stresses of the phase shift. Two cutters escorted the cargo ship - slaved into the Bremmer field to allow a single transit, but they were just as blind as their parent ship. With luck the Revenge would strike before the guard craft even had their bearings.
Captain Arcolier's voice was steely and flat as she spoke. "Attack! Port banks disable my marked craft." She painted a craft on the viewscreen with her laser pointer, and sophisticated onboard computers read the light and translated the information into a tactical display for the laser batteries elsewhere in the ship. The Beauteous Revenge lunged forward as the first beams of ruby light speared outward.
(See the next installment!)
Captain Jaimie Arcolier was having a bad hair day. In order to be a top ranked pirate captain she had to look her best at all times, but her deep auburn locks insisted on frizzing into a tangled mess. In a zero-g boarding action that would give her a crimson afro - she'd look like a Q-tip set on fire! Her intercom buzzed as she dug out another glop of styling gel with an exasperated sigh.
"Cap'n? We're at the hold point. If Carruther's frigate is on schedule it will jump through in five minutes." Old One-Eye had been her first mate for the last two years and he was currently up in the bridge, waiting for her to arrive. She cursed her recalcitrant hair as she slicked it back with the gel. Not enough body for a world-class look but at least nobody would laugh her out of combat if it came to that. She thumbed open her quarters and vaulted into the common hallway while still muttering under her breath. She was sure that the male captains had an easier time of it. If nothing else they usually wore hats or bandannas. But the market research showed that female captains needed their hair down for maximal licensing revenue. Damn fickle public!
Some raids she made more from the licensing than she did from the haul, but if her informant was right this pigeon would not be such a case. Carruther's and Sons were trying to sneak a fortune through the less traveled shipping lanes, hoping nobody would notice. A valid stratagem but it meant this frigate was traveling with a light guard. The informant swore they were shipping a full load of Earth spices and rare foodstuffs and they were bound straight to the Royal Palace of Cantrella. Not only were genuine Earth foods worth a fortune but Jaimie's animosity for the Cantrellan Empire was legendary. Tweaking the nose of Empress Relina by stealing food from her table meant more than the ready cash the cargo would fetch on the black market.
She strode through the bridge hatch with her trademark swagger, exuding confidence. She knew that she was "on" - if this raid went well the video rights would be worth the hassle. Her hair might have been flatter than she liked, but she had the rest of her pirate attire set to perfection. A tight turquoise blouse emphasized her figure while leaving no excess fabric to hinder her in combat. Tight black slacks tucked into the top of her dark leather knee-high boots, which were polished to a mirror shine. At least in shoes a female pirate got to be practical, and the boots had only the lowest heel with a wide footprint and a solid stance. Velcro strips on the bottom and magnets in the sole prepared her for all sorts of zero-g maneuvers. Her slender rapier hung from her hip, a simple unadorned blade that looked unremarkable. Despite the unprepossessing appearance she made major cash every year from licensed replicas of her famous blade. In many ways her rapier was her brand and she managed it well.
One-Eye snapped to attention and barked out the traditional call. "Cap'n on deck!"
Captain Arcolier settled in the captains chair, nodding as she did so. "Carry on." She cast a satisfied eye over her veteran bridge crew. They were ready for battle, and One-Eye had settled them down for work before she arrived. She depressed the fingertip key that would broadcast her voice throughout the Beauteous Revenge. "Drop gravitational spin and prepare for combat maneuvers."
One-Eye promptly said "Aye Aye Cap'n", even as he ran the macros from his station. The lighting dropped slightly and shifted to a warmer yellow tone. The omnipresent rumble of the engines dropped away as the ship stilled. Captain Arcolier snapped her restraint web in place as the false gravity faded away. She scanned the bridge again, noting with pleasure that her crew was ready for the order and no stray debris floated free in the cabin.
The bridge of the Revenge was both gorgeous and functional. It served double duty both as the practical command center of a functioning pirate ship and as the main set for the show Captain Arcolier sold in the gray samizdat market. Bland, grey salarymen on dozens of planets lived vicariously through the somewhat-true exploits of Arcolier and her crew so the bridge had to convey a sense of dynamism, a sense of wonder and action. In this day of modernization and discreet technology the bridge straddled some line between silly anachronism and hopelessly futuristic. No line was straight where a swooping curve would do. No small display existed where a large screen would fit, and most screens were topped with klaxons and lights to draw the eye when activated. The curving forward bulkhead captured attention as it was featureless and a deep midnight black, a black that positively swallowed light. Cap'n Arcolier claimed that material had cost her a small fortune with both powdered onyx and "smart" programmed buckyball nanomachines incorporated into the structure. The machines continually optimized the surface, making sure it was as smooth and as black as molecular technologies allowed. All of this blackness served as a backdrop to the primary display - a huge holographic tank. It was only a foot or so deep but it stretched the entire width and height of the bridge - an utterly gigantic display at ten feet tall and thirty feet wide. Although it could be set for one gargantuan image it was usually tiled into a variety of displays as it was now. A large center section lay blank, awaiting the Captain's prerogative, while smaller status and communication displays quietly scrolled around the edges. As Captain Arcolier settled in her captains chair she pulled up the forward visual display, filling the screen with an unexceptional display of blank space.
The crew settled in for a wait, but only a couple of minutes passed before Stinky Pete sang out from the conn station. "Thar she jumps!". As he touched keys a computer overlay sprang into being on the main screen, drawing in gravity waves with a false transparent green. A narrow ropy tube of emerald pulsed there, the jump line from Maxima to Pulion. This was the point where forces from the nearby black hole drew the line into nonexistence - where a ship was forced back into normal space. Indeed the line pulsed like a snake swallowing a mouse as the bulge that indicated a ship worked down the gullet.
The green overlay faded further into translucency as a visible glow grew at the jump terminus. A bright flash of light marked the transition back into Euclidean space as the cargo ship appeared. The ship was at the dead stop jump travel required, briefly blinded by the stresses of the phase shift. Two cutters escorted the cargo ship - slaved into the Bremmer field to allow a single transit, but they were just as blind as their parent ship. With luck the Revenge would strike before the guard craft even had their bearings.
Captain Arcolier's voice was steely and flat as she spoke. "Attack! Port banks disable my marked craft." She painted a craft on the viewscreen with her laser pointer, and sophisticated onboard computers read the light and translated the information into a tactical display for the laser batteries elsewhere in the ship. The Beauteous Revenge lunged forward as the first beams of ruby light speared outward.
"Cap'n? We're at the hold point. If Carruther's frigate is on schedule it will jump through in five minutes." Old One-Eye had been her first mate for the last two years and he was currently up in the bridge, waiting for her to arrive. She cursed her recalcitrant hair as she slicked it back with the gel. Not enough body for a world-class look but at least nobody would laugh her out of combat if it came to that. She thumbed open her quarters and vaulted into the common hallway while still muttering under her breath. She was sure that the male captains had an easier time of it. If nothing else they usually wore hats or bandannas. But the market research showed that female captains needed their hair down for maximal licensing revenue. Damn fickle public!
Some raids she made more from the licensing than she did from the haul, but if her informant was right this pigeon would not be such a case. Carruther's and Sons were trying to sneak a fortune through the less traveled shipping lanes, hoping nobody would notice. A valid stratagem but it meant this frigate was traveling with a light guard. The informant swore they were shipping a full load of Earth spices and rare foodstuffs and they were bound straight to the Royal Palace of Cantrella. Not only were genuine Earth foods worth a fortune but Jaimie's animosity for the Cantrellan Empire was legendary. Tweaking the nose of Empress Relina by stealing food from her table meant more than the ready cash the cargo would fetch on the black market.
She strode through the bridge hatch with her trademark swagger, exuding confidence. She knew that she was "on" - if this raid went well the video rights would be worth the hassle. Her hair might have been flatter than she liked, but she had the rest of her pirate attire set to perfection. A tight turquoise blouse emphasized her figure while leaving no excess fabric to hinder her in combat. Tight black slacks tucked into the top of her dark leather knee-high boots, which were polished to a mirror shine. At least in shoes a female pirate got to be practical, and the boots had only the lowest heel with a wide footprint and a solid stance. Velcro strips on the bottom and magnets in the sole prepared her for all sorts of zero-g maneuvers. Her slender rapier hung from her hip, a simple unadorned blade that looked unremarkable. Despite the unprepossessing appearance she made major cash every year from licensed replicas of her famous blade. In many ways her rapier was her brand and she managed it well.
One-Eye snapped to attention and barked out the traditional call. "Cap'n on deck!"
Captain Arcolier settled in the captains chair, nodding as she did so. "Carry on." She cast a satisfied eye over her veteran bridge crew. They were ready for battle, and One-Eye had settled them down for work before she arrived. She depressed the fingertip key that would broadcast her voice throughout the Beauteous Revenge. "Drop gravitational spin and prepare for combat maneuvers."
One-Eye promptly said "Aye Aye Cap'n", even as he ran the macros from his station. The lighting dropped slightly and shifted to a warmer yellow tone. The omnipresent rumble of the engines dropped away as the ship stilled. Captain Arcolier snapped her restraint web in place as the false gravity faded away. She scanned the bridge again, noting with pleasure that her crew was ready for the order and no stray debris floated free in the cabin.
The bridge of the Revenge was both gorgeous and functional. It served double duty both as the practical command center of a functioning pirate ship and as the main set for the show Captain Arcolier sold in the gray samizdat market. Bland, grey salarymen on dozens of planets lived vicariously through the somewhat-true exploits of Arcolier and her crew so the bridge had to convey a sense of dynamism, a sense of wonder and action. In this day of modernization and discreet technology the bridge straddled some line between silly anachronism and hopelessly futuristic. No line was straight where a swooping curve would do. No small display existed where a large screen would fit, and most screens were topped with klaxons and lights to draw the eye when activated. The curving forward bulkhead captured attention as it was featureless and a deep midnight black, a black that positively swallowed light. Cap'n Arcolier claimed that material had cost her a small fortune with both powdered onyx and "smart" programmed buckyball nanomachines incorporated into the structure. The machines continually optimized the surface, making sure it was as smooth and as black as molecular technologies allowed. All of this blackness served as a backdrop to the primary display - a huge holographic tank. It was only a foot or so deep but it stretched the entire width and height of the bridge - an utterly gigantic display at ten feet tall and thirty feet wide. Although it could be set for one gargantuan image it was usually tiled into a variety of displays as it was now. A large center section lay blank, awaiting the Captain's prerogative, while smaller status and communication displays quietly scrolled around the edges. As Captain Arcolier settled in her captains chair she pulled up the forward visual display, filling the screen with an unexceptional display of blank space.
The crew settled in for a wait, but only a couple of minutes passed before Stinky Pete sang out from the conn station. "Thar she jumps!". As he touched keys a computer overlay sprang into being on the main screen, drawing in gravity waves with a false transparent green. A narrow ropy tube of emerald pulsed there, the jump line from Maxima to Pulion. This was the point where forces from the nearby black hole drew the line into nonexistence - where a ship was forced back into normal space. Indeed the line pulsed like a snake swallowing a mouse as the bulge that indicated a ship worked down the gullet.
The green overlay faded further into translucency as a visible glow grew at the jump terminus. A bright flash of light marked the transition back into Euclidean space as the cargo ship appeared. The ship was at the dead stop jump travel required, briefly blinded by the stresses of the phase shift. Two cutters escorted the cargo ship - slaved into the Bremmer field to allow a single transit, but they were just as blind as their parent ship. With luck the Revenge would strike before the guard craft even had their bearings.
Captain Arcolier's voice was steely and flat as she spoke. "Attack! Port banks disable my marked craft." She painted a craft on the viewscreen with her laser pointer, and sophisticated onboard computers read the light and translated the information into a tactical display for the laser batteries elsewhere in the ship. The Beauteous Revenge lunged forward as the first beams of ruby light speared outward.
(See the next installment!)