Shore Leave, Chapter Two

(If you missed last week, you'll want to start there.)

Jonathan led Tammy and Jaimie into the hoverbike arena, almost dancing with impatience as Tammy moved slowly. Tammy was infamous on the Beauteous Revenge as a late riser, and she had only reluctantly agreed to make it out to the distant race site by 10 AM. She clutched an oversize travel mug of coffee protectively and glared at Jonathan. “I’m sure we have plenty of time, especially after your mad drive out here.”

Jonathan was a tall and quiet man who tended to blend into his surroundings. All three pirates were dressed inconspicuously for the trip to the races, but Jonathan would never normally draw a second glance from an observer. He bounced on his feet impatiently, gesturing towards a line filtering into the arena with his eyes glittering. “Pfeaugh. That little scooter we rented couldn’t go fast if you dropped it from orbit and slid it down an mountain of ice.”

Tammy rolled her eyes as she drank her coffee. “Whatever, Speed Demon. I heard how the engine screamed. I’m on vacation remember, if you burn out the hypercoils you can take the bus for all I care.”

Jaimie weighed in on the debate by gently pushing Tammy in the small of her back. “Look we have plenty of time before the races but I want to get a good seat. I’m hoping to find some good betting today and that means we need to scout out the racers. That boy William was going to give us a good tip yesterday before you scared his mom with your round heels and raucous ways.”

Tammy smiled at the mention of William, forgetting her mock feud with Jonathan. “Maybe we can find him here. I got the impression he was going to be at the races today.”

Jonathan grinned and pointed at a large holotank above the line. “There is a William in the second race today. Wouldn’t it be funny if it turned out to be the same guy?” He looked at Tammy expectantly only to be pulled up short by her surprised expression.

“That sure would be funny. Turns out it’s true!” She jabbed at Jaimie’s shoulder and pointed at the holotank. “Look at that! Our little bartender turns out to have multiple talents.” She grinned at Jonathan. “I’m so glad I insisted we get here early!” She trotted forward to join in the end of the queue as Jonathan sputtered in outrage at Tammy’s reconstruction of recent history.

Jaimie laughed and shrugged at Jonathan as she followed Tammy into the line. “C’mon Jonathan, I’m buying admission today!” She wagged a finger at him with mock severity. “But it’s not a free ride, I expect you to find out which bike will be the fastest machine!”

It took about twenty minutes to get through the line, find some seats and verify they had time before the races. By unspoken agreement the trio went down to the pits where it was possible to check out the bikes and the racers.

The first race would be starting soon, but the first was the slower bikes, the class that Jonathan had dismissed as “kids with training wheels”. The serious betting was on the second race, the unlimited class races. It looked like a full card - twelve racers and five laps. The course was an intriguing mix of straightaways with some twists, a pair of nasty hairpins and even some dirt ramps that an adroit ‘biker could use to catch some air. Not really useful from a racing perspective, but certainly worth showmanship points from the crowd.

The first bike they saw sat open, its emerald cowling advertising a local fast food chain resting on the ground. Jonathan stopped dead in his tracks to examine the exposed machinery and Tammy bumped into him, as she had been making eyes at a passing racer and not watching her cohorts. She made a face at Jonathan’s suddenly unresponsive back as she stepped a pace away. 

“Watch it buster!” Tammy spluttered but Jonathan nodded idly, clearly not processing her words.

Jaimie lay her hand gently on Tammy’s shoulder. “It’s all right. You know how he is around speed. We’ll get to see William before the race I promise.”

Jonathan nodded respectfully at the mechanic and pointed at a glowing coil of superconducting cable. “You run her like this? No safety interlocks on the gyros?”

The mechanic nodded gruffly at the pilot, suppressing a grin. “Oh aye. My ‘biker complains that the precession on the corner costs him too much speed otherwise. Keep an eye out for him on the hairpins. He’ll scrape the inside of the cowling, he lays my baby flat sideways as he goes around.

Tammy rolled her eyes and muttered something about “macho idiots” under her breath as Jonathan nodded at the mechanic.

“I can imagine. That’s going to be a sight! Aren’t you worried about stability on the moguls though? A wrong move and it’s going to happily plow a field for you, right there in the middle of the track.”

“Aye.” The mechanic shrugged. “He’s good and it’s the way he wants the bike. I wouldn’t drive it this way, but he hasn’t wrecked it yet. Number Thirty-Six - you’ll see him in the winner’s circle here soon.” He gestured with a large wrench at the idling engine. “I’d best get back to it or this bike won’t be going anywhere.”

Jonathan nodded again. “Thank you for your time. And good luck to number Thirty-Six!”

As they walked around Jaimie closed the gap to talk with Jonathan discreetly. “So what do you think? Thirty-Six a contender?”

Jonathan shook his head minutely. “Good mechanic, but the driver’s an idiot. The safety interlocks don’t cost any speed unless you’re riding way too close to the redline. One day he’ll be a hair slow to react and . . . well he’ll have a closed casket, let’s just say that.”

Tammy suddenly let out a squeal more appropriate for a twelve year old girl than a Chief Engineer, and clapped her hands together with delight. Jonathan stared at her, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion as Jaimie smiled wryly. “I take it you’ve never seen Tammy on the prowl before. There are shore leaves where I can’t sell a thing to my fans, but Tammy? Tammy leads the dream life of every middle-aged housewife when I let her out of the engine room.” Jaimie pointed across the narrow pit area to a gleaming crimson hoverbike ,where William leaned against the saddle and animatedly spoke to a mechanic. “That there is young William. Memorize him looking nonchalant quickly, because our girl is about to tie his tongue in knots.”

William wore skintight racing silks. The archaic name did a poor job of describing the garment, which was created from synthetic low-drag fabrics and shimmered in the hot service lights of the pit. In the bar William had looked awkward and uncomfortable. It was obvious to Jaimie that the boy lived for the races. She folded her arms and watched Tammy approach William. William broke off his conversation and visibly swallowed when he saw Tammy.  Jaimie was about to speak further to Jonathan when a tall man bumped into her and continued walking without even breaking stride.

Jaimie brushed her arms with annoyance and glared at the man. He continued to mutter into his phone, seemingly not even aware that he had collided with another person. Jonathan opened his mouth but Jaimie held up her hand wordlessly and began to follow the man, staying a few scant paces behind. The man took a furtive glance at William and nodded once before veering to the outside, brushing against a pretzel vendor on his way out.

Jonathan stood with his mouth hanging open as he watched his Captain stalk off, clearly intent on eavesdropping on the rude man in the dusty black leathers. He turned back to Tammy, only be even more dumbfounded as she giggled like a schoolgirl and reached inside her low-cut blouse to withdraw a baby-blue filmy scarf. She tied the scarf around William’s neck like a kerchief, talking animatedly the entire time. William simply watched Tammy’s motions like a man entranced, not even trying to match the flow of her chatter.

Jonathan waited idly at the edge of William’s service area, throughly ignored by everyone.   Tammy finished her flirtation with a final trilling laugh and a kiss on William’s hotly blushing cheek. She waved a farewall at the racer and slipped her arm inside Jonathan’s when she approached. “Come on Jonathan, I want to place a bet on my young suitor.” She frowned briefly as she realized Jaimie was nowhere to be found. “Where did Jaimie go?”

It was another ten minutes before Tammy found out where Jaimie had gone. Tammy and Jonathan had gone to place their bets and returned to their seats before her phone beeped. She pulled it from her waist and looked at the screen for a moment before frowning and shoving it at Jonathan.

“Found a problem. Put a thousand on young William for me. Will be back later - J.” was on the screen. Jonathan looked back at Tammy and shrugged. “I guess we’d better go make another bet.”

#

Jaimie in the meantime had begun stalking the man in the black leathers as soon as she overheard a fragment of his discussion. All she had heard was “the boy in red? That’s my target?” but it was enough for her to make a snap decision and begin to tail him. As she concentrated she made out a few more fragments “. . . Lap three . . . If winning . . . A clean shot”, but she heard enough to know the situation. This man was an assassin, hired to kill William if he was winning the race! She assumed this was ludicrous as any such murder would certainly invalidate the bets, but perhaps the motive was one of humiliation and revenge, not one of financial gain. In the press of the crowd it was easy for her to follow the assassin as he left the pit and headed towards the arena exit. She clucked her tongue in exasperation as she studied the man. Captain Arcolier made her living from impressions and theater. Some days she made more from the piracy and some days she made more from the real-life theater of piracy, and as such a professional she was almost offended by the stereotypical garb of the hireling.

“I mean . . . Really? Black leathers all around? Couldn’t find a sandwich board that said “Assassin for hire” to wear?” Jaimie muttered to herself. “It’s bloody ridiculous, that’s what it is.”

The hireling paused to purchase a sausage from a passing vendor and Jaimie took advantage of the time to send a quick message to Tammy. She also bought a ridiculous large floppy foam sombrero from another vendor, which she quickly donned to cover her face in deep shadow. It wasn’t much of a disguise, but it was the best she could arrange on short notice. She frowned as she realized the sniper was leaving the arena proper. Following him through the crush of the crowd was easy, especially since his black leathers stood out against the crowd of brightly-dressed racing fans. Outside the arena the crowd would be lighter and mostly moving opposite Jaimie and her target.

The man proved exceptionally easy to tail however, single-mindedly heading back to a small vehicle without ever seeming to check for observers. He pulled a long guitar case from the back seat of the vehicle and Jaimie had to work to suppress her snort of derision at the the obviousness of the case. “Who brings a guitar to hoverbike races anyway?” she muttered, half to herself and half to the omnipresent hoverdrone recording her motions.

#

“Where is she?” Tammy asked plaintively. “She’s going to miss the main race!” Tammy gestured down below where the bikes were already assembled in the starting pattern. It would only be a few more minutes before the drivers were announced and the race began. Jonathan shrugged helplessly at Tammy’s question and scanned the racetrack with a pair of binoculars.

The arena speakers crackled to life as the announcers called out the first driver who entered the track from a side door, grinning broadly and waving to the crowd. It was only a few more moments before all twelve racers were standing next to their bikes. Tammy screamed and blew a kiss as William was announced and he walked out to stand by his bike. He still wore her blue scarf like a kerchief. She clutched coquettishly at Jonathan’s arm and pointed at the scarf. “See! He’s wearing it!”

Jonathan snorted and gently disengaged his arm from Tammy’s grasp. “Of course he is. You’ve totally overpowered the boy.” He gestured at Tammy’s blouse sarcastically. “Don’t you think you brought cannons to a sparrow hunt here?”

Tammy smiled and crossed her arms under her breasts, pushing them upwards. “Why Jonathan! People might think you are jealous!”

Jonathan was about to retort but then the starting pistol fired and the race began. His focus instantly transferred to the track and the racers. Tammy frowned for a moment before turning herself to find William on the track and cheering her racer on.

#

Jaimie had a nervous moment when the man in black ran a security card through a reader and opened the door clearly marked “Staff Only”. He slunk inside and crept up the service stairwell. She paused and then decided if he hadn’t checked by now that he wasn’t likely to worry about observers. She found it amazing that he would be that arrogant, everything about his dress and attitude screaming “hired killer”, but she was willing to take whatever minor bonuses Fate saw fit to grant her. She darted forward and just caught the door with her fingertips. She waited for an agonizing moment, holding the door open in full view of anyone who might happen along before she dared to pull it open again. Cheers from the arena told her that the main race had begun as she slipped inside the stairwell and pushed the door closed with a soft “click”.

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Games - the Early November 2007 Edition

The holiday title deluge is underway so perhaps I should hit some high notes. Before next week when I'll probably disappear inside a Rock Band vortex of timesuck. The Legends of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass - I talked about Zelda a bit previously, but I didn't really give my overall impression, and that talk got pulled aside into a lot of chatter. Overall, I enjoyed this Zelda. The microphone thing is still stupid, the [redacted for spoilers] puzzle was just asinine, and I continued to hate using the stylus for movement throughout the game. Using the d-pad plus a jump button would have improved it very much, as opposed to the auto-that-looks-a-jump-to-your-death-request movement system. The one temple (the Ocean King) that you have to work through like five or six times was sucky. Having said all *that*, there's still a very good Zelda game in here. And in the interest of fairness to the oft-maligned (by me) DS hardware there were some neat things that needed the touch screen to do. I wasn't thrilled by the "draw on the screen" runes, but the "trace out a path for your boomerang/bombchu/whatever" mechanic was neat. Overall, I give it a . . . Meh-Plus. I'm a little tired of Zelda as a formula game, but you could argue it's a classic, and this is a good iteration of said formula. If they hadn't obsessed over using the stylus for EVERYTHING, it would graduate to Good Game. Portal - I rented The Orange Box pretty much for the express purpose of playing Portal. I mean, I've played more Half-Life 2 then I wanted on the PC three years ago, so I'm not excited by those "three" titles. Team Fortress 2 is not my bag, baby, and that leaves Portal. I liked Portal, but a three hour game? That's sort of pushing things. And a 19 level game where something like 15- 16 of the levels are training levels? That's sort of crazy. I was less wild about the humor than most talk I hear on the net. It was funny, but not like I ever stopped to just laugh at the comedy. Portal is definitely worth renting, but I can't really justify spending money on it, unless you see significant value in the rest of The Orange Box. Eye of Judgment[sic] - I talked about playing this at PAX before, but I didn't go into great depth. I did end up buying this and have acquired a theme deck and a few boosters, just enough to start messing around with deck tuning. Surprisingly I like it a lot. Nobody has done a really good job (even Penny Arcade was only so-so) in explaining how it works, and why the 2 mana a turn isn't slow. Ignore all the camera and PS3 hoo-hah for a moment and focus on just the card game. As far as I know this is the first CCG to incorporate a board. That's huge. The game is much more tactical than I realized at PAX. Simple stuff like "Oh I'm going to rotate this guy to the left" can have major implications. Also, the way the mana flows slowly means you have to plan several turns ahead. Additionally, whenever you kill an opponent's creature they get one mana immediately, so just because you can sweep the board doesn't mean you should. Having said that, I also think the PAX decks were poorly constructured. They were jam packed with the big flashy creatures, but you couldn't really play them very effectively. The starter deck and the theme deck focus more on smaller creatures, meaning that the 2 mana a turn thing is a major strategic element, but it's not "passing every other turn" the way it looked at PAX. I haven't played it online yet, I'm having enough deck-nerd fun playing against the computer and slowly realizing how some spells are better than they look and some are worse. A lot of props for A ) making the first really new thing I've seen in a long time in CCG's (usage of a board and tactical elements like facing) and B ) figuring out a camera game that works with my ambient room light, as opposed to having me fiddle forever with special lighting as the PS2 Eyetoy games and the Xbox 360 Camera game (and WTF is the singular there about?) did. If you're not careful, I'll talk more about Eye of Judgment, so let's just wrap there, shall we?

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Shore Leave, Chapter One

(This story should stand alone, but it does use characters from a previous story. If you didn't read the first Adventures of Captain Arcolier, you may want to start there first.

Jaimie smashed her ceramic beer mug upside the thug’s head in a spray of dark ale and pottery chips. “Damnit! I knew we should have held off until we could put in at Haven. Every time we come to Coventry sooner or later we get in a fight.”

The recipient of her blow dropped gracelessly to the floor with a loud thump. Tammy rolled her eyes and shrugged expressively at her Captain. “We’re just too hot for these rubes to handle. I wasn’t even flirting with him, honest!”

Jaimie snorted derisively and studied her Chief Engineer. On the ship Tammy wore her hair up in a loose bun, but for tonight’s pub crawl she had let it down into an artfully disarrayed mass of raven curls that brushed her shoulders. Those shoulders were bare, as Tammy had pulled the sleeves of her green peasant blouse far to the side and tucked in the bottom to pull the shirt tight across her chest. A skintight pair of black pants and high leather boots completed her shore leave ensemble. Jaimie arched her eyebrow and shook her head. “Girl, everything about you from clothes to attitude is a flirt for some of these goons.”

Tammy grinned with mischief, her eyes sparkling with glee. “As I said. We’re too hot for these rubes to handle.”

Jaimie looked ruefully at her own outfit, now spattered and streaked with beer foam. “Maybe I was, but I now think some fresh clothes are in order. Let’s take a quick trip back to the hotel so I can change. Then we can try that bar down by the wharf.”

“This place was dullsville anyway.” Tammy stood up and dropped a few coins on the table. “Let’s roll.”

Only a few members of the crew of the Beauteous Revenge had opted to stay in Coventry. Stinky Pete had elected to stay aboard the Revenge and supervise her repairs. The Revenge was currently in drydock orbit above the planet where she was getting a new engine installed as well as a host of minor repairs. One-Eye had lead the majority of the crew on a skiing holiday on the northern glaciers, leaving only Jaimie, Tammy, and Jonathan Walker from the bridge crew to stay in the city of Coventry proper. Of course, there were a couple of crewmembers on duty and in charge of gathering footage, just in case something interesting occurred. It was an ironic fact of Jaimie’s life that the complete camera coverage of the Revenge made the continuous footage gathering less obtrusive than what she experienced when on shore leave. She glanced briefly at the pair of hovering drones that accompanied her and Tammy on the pub crawl - the constant reminder that Captain Arcolier is never truly and completely “offstage”. Jonathan had declined to go drinking - he had found a poker game that interested him more. They had agreed to meet in the morning because Jonathan had heard of some underground hoverbike races going on outside town and he had convinced Tammy that it would be more interesting than any in-town entertainment.

That beer mug smash was a nice moment and Jaimie hoped the drones had caught it from a dramatic angle, but unless something more interesting happened this entire shore leave would be edited out of her next installment. Shore leaves were touch and go, sometimes they got fantastic footage and sometimes it was just boring. Jaimie didn’t get to be one of the top-rated franchises in gray market entertainment by spewing her entire life online. Her fans bought a particular pirate fantasy, and she had to ruthlessly prune away anything that contradicted that image.

It was an another hour before Tammy and Jaimie entered the bar Tammy had noticed earlier in the day. Outside a robotic (and quite buxom) mermaid sunned herself on a rock, waving at passersby and occasionally appearing to drink deeply from a beer mug. A neon sign by day proclaimed the dive to be known as “The Drunken Mermaid”, but now at night Jaimie noted several letters were burned out, and the lurid red glow advertising “The  runken Me  aid” made the still-drinking mermaid look very creepy.

As she pushed open the door she wrinkled her nose in disapproval. A simple dive bar was something Jaimie could enjoy but the interior of the Drunken Mermaid reeked of stale beer and vomit. Crushed peanut shells littered the floor underneath her feet, but didn’t disguise the stickiness of long-standing beer puddles. At least Jaimie told herself it was likely beer, or that she hoped it was beer. It was absurdly dim, only small lights on each table and a dim glow from the bar area. Jaimie judged this might be for the best, from what she could see it was clear that looking at any more of the bar would hardly improve the experience. She sighed theatrically and turned to Tammy. “I suppose you’ll pout all night if we don’t have at least a beer or two here?”

Tammy smirked at Jaimie and entered, not bothering to respond more than that. Jaimie shrugged her shoulders and followed Tammy inside. The small hover cams whirred behind her as one followed Tammy and the other covered the pair in a wide angle shot. Tammy went up to the bar to order beers as Jaimie made her way to the back and found an empty table where she could watch the door carefully.

Jaimie waited impatiently for Tammy’s return, scanning people in the bar. Tammy had, of course, found the youngest bartender to order from. Jaimie was surprised this lad was even old enough to serve alcohol. He certainly wasn’t going to be old enough to handle Tammy’s innuendo. Tammy leaned forward and touched the boy on the arm and laughed. In the dim light Jaimie couldn’t be certain, but she’d be willing to wager the boy was blushing by now. He placed two mugs in front of Tammy who picked them up and strutted back to their table, putting enough sway in her hips to blow past “subtle”, and “exaggerated” and hit just short of “cartoon caricature”.

Tammy giggled as she slid onto the ratty bench that curved around their table. “I suspect we’ll get some free drinks this evening. The lad’s name is William - he’s going to go on a break soon and I invited him to stop by. I promised I’d introduce my famous friend.”

Jaime groaned theatrically. “I thought we were trying to keep a low profile today.”

Tammy giggled again before pulling deeply on her beer. “Not possible. I told you before, we’re just too hot for these rubes to handle!”

It was ten minutes before William approached the table, and he brought a pair of beers with him. Tammy winked at Jaimie as she saw the lad approach.

“H . . H … Here you are.” William stuttered, flushing as his tongue betrayed his nervousness. “On … On M-me!”

“I wouldn’t dream of having the beer on you, William! We’ve only just met. I’ll drink my mine from the mug if you’d please.” Tammy laughed throatily as she patted the bench beside her and took a beer with her other hand. “Come. Sit down and rest a bit. We don’t bite. Usually.”

William blushed even redder as Jaimie kicked Tammy under the table. Jaimie smiled gently at the boy and took her own mug. “Thank you for the beer, young William. I’m Captain Jaimie Arcolier. Perhaps you’ve head of my ship, the Beauteous Revenge?

William sat gingerly on the very edge of the bench, as far from Tammy as he could manage. He folded his hands on the tabletop, visibly trembling as he did so. “Cor! Of course, I’ve heard of the Revenge. All my friends watch your vids whenever we can find them! That one where One-Eye dueled the miner while you snuck in and offloaded all his ore? That’s a classic!”

Jaimie grinned crookedly and leaned back against the bench, spreading her left arm along the back. “Yes we ll. He did owe us that ore after losing it to me in the races. That was a fun expedition though I’ll warrant. Can you give us any tips on the races tomorrow?”

William’s jaw dropped. “Will you be going to the races tomorrow? Will the rest of the crew be there? One-Eye? Stinky Pete?”

Tammy made a moue and lightly touched William on his shoulder. Jaimie had to repress a chuckle when William flinched under the contact before straightening himself upright again. “What? Are you saying that Jaimie and I aren’t impressive enough for you? Fickle aren’t you?” Tammy said.

“W-what? N-n-no! I only m-meant that ….” William floundered only to be cut short when a large woman grabbed his arm.

“William! You’re supposed to be on break, not pestering the …“, the woman broke off to look distastefully at Jaimie and Tammy, “so-called customers. I’m sure these … women have something better to do than listen to your tales.”

Jaimie looked at the women closely, noticing her stained apron and graying hair restrained in a hair net. Clearly this woman had recently been in the kitchen and had emerged only to pull William aware from the table.

“But Ma! She asked me to stop by on my break. I was only telling them about the race and that ….”

William’s mother shook him by his arm until he fell silent. “Quiet you. Go to the back and help Arthur tap the new kegs!” She shoved him towards the back unceremoniously.

William looked back at Jaimie and Tammy, his face crimson now and even his ears colored red. His mother shook him again and frogmarched him back through the rear service door.

Jaimie laughed and saluted Tammy with her mug before taking a long drink. “I think you may have scared the lad’s mother there Tammy.”

“Me?” Tammy fluttered her eyelashes in a hopeless attempt to look innocent. “I nearly widdled myself when that old battleaxe approached us. You’d have thought I was outside the kindergarten with a van and a huge sack of candy!”

Jaimie choked on a mouthful of beer at that description and took a moment to compose herself before replying. “No more aggravating the mamma bears. Low profile remember?”

Tammy grinned at her captain. “What did I tell you? Too hot for these rubes. Even the mothers are scared!”

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Charlie's Diary: Japan: some impressions

They've got our future, damn it.It's not the shiny future of jet packs and food pills — oh no, that's not what Japan is about. Nevertheless, they've got it and they're living in it, damn them. They've got express trains that run on time and accelerate so fast they push you back into your seat like an airliner on take-off. They've got skyscrapers with running lights, looming out of the sodium-lit evening haze — a skyline just like the famous nighttime scene from Blade Runner except for the shortage of giant pyramids (and they're building one of those out in Tokyo bay). And they shave their cats.
Charlie's Diary: Japan: some impressions I'm late in noting this, I kept shying around this huge and interesting entry until I had time to read it unrushed. But I think some blog readers will appreciate, and may not have this feed in RSS, so I link it. Charlie Stross' essay on visiting Japan for WorldCon - no WorldCon but plenty o' Japan.

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